Freedom From The Tyranny Of Cell Phone Carriers

As I’ve mentioned, I am MOST fortunate to have some guy friends who are total geeks, er, I mean extremely tech savvy. They are my translators for the world of computers and other tech gadgets. I frankly don’t know what I would do without them since I don’t have teenagers.

One of them, Greg, recently put me completely in the picture of something called unlocked phones.

Well, who knew? I had grudgingly resigned myself to the fact that I was just at the mercy of my cell phone provider’s whims and caprices. NOT SO!

Greg tells me that I can actually buy a phone from Motorola (and others I believe) that is not tied to any one carrier’s plan. That means I can sign up for service on a month to month basis. I can be on the lookout for the best priced plan instead of being locked into an expensive 2 year commitment that includes my first born and a second on my house. If AT&T runs a special deal I can jump on board.

Ha, freedom from tyranny! I’m in the driver’s seat!

In the lucky event, I’m headed for Europe, I can swap out the SIM card I have that is limited to service in the US to a SIM card that I can use in Florence (I wish!). I can buy pre-programmed SIM cards that are like a debit card that give me a specific number of minutes. I can also see this as handy if you have kids whose phone use is hard to control.

These little babies are also chargeable by USB hook up instead of by those little proprietary chargers I’m always losing. And, you get to keep your same phone number if you swap phones. Very cool.

The downside is you pay full price for your phone instead of the carrier giving you a deal. So, if you like to change out frequently to the newest newfangled thang, this approach might not work for you. But, if you have an old unlocked phone lying around and you drop your new one and break it, you can just take your SIM card out and swap to the old phone, and, voila, you’re in bidness.

Basically, your phone’s identity sits on the SIM card instead of the phone, sort of like a PO Box that stays the same even if you swap residences.

Don’t you love it?? And, Greg tells me, there is the bonus of deeply impressing techie guys with your tech brilliance.

New Thinking About Retirement

I’m a looking to the future kind of gal. As if I don’t have enough to worry about in the present, I like to worry about the future too.

So, I do wonder what retirement is going to look like for us Boomers. I mean, our options, and frankly, our expectations are so much different than our parents that there is no telling how many different ways this will look. There are lots of us without kids, lots of singles, most of us with families scattered all over everywhere, many of us doing phased or ‘not at all’ retirement, and most of us feel strongly we ain’t goin’ to no nursin’ home, at least as many of them exist today. For those of us with no kids and single, we wonder about practical things like who will be checking in on us to make sure we haven’t fallen and can’t get up.

Throw in the mix that if the statistics are to be believed, it seems as though many of us are expecting a champagne retirement on a beer budget. Social security benefits account for 90% of income for 4 out of 10 single retirees, and 2 of 10 married couples. Women’s incomes lag significantly behind men’s too, so we may be more likely to find ourselves in a low retirement income situation. Hmmph.

So what do you suppose all that adds up to?

Scott Burns is a popular personal finance columnist who just wrote an interesting column that may be one answer to this dilemma: economies of shared living. Or, in the vernacular, shacking up with other folks to stretch your dollars.

He says our expectations of a house of our own, our own bedroom, our own car, our own phone/TV/computer, etc. makes living quite expensive. Gulp, what’s he going to say next? Yep, you guessed it.

Just sharing shelter costs with 3 other people dramatically increases your available income. If you think about sharing a car and other major expenses, you’ve begun stretching a meager income significantly.

This may not be for everyone, but I think it is very worth considering not only from the financial aspect, but the social aspects as well. And, I think it goes beyond just retirement thinking and has applications to pursuing a passion, or reinventing your life.

I am currently experimenting with the house sharing thing. Last year, I wanted a big change so I rented out my house and moved in with a relative stranger. It has worked out so much better than I could have hoped. Did I give up some privacy? Yes. Are there perks? YES! Not the least of which is the money I’m saving in living expenses that has allowed me to undertake my midlife women project, WomenBloom, which I LOVE! It has not only stretched my dollars, but it has opened my life up to new friends, new ideas and a richer life.

I mean, I’ve learned how to roast a chicken, compost, raise tomatoes, and make killer soups. My housemate is very wise about money so I’ve learned lots there. And, it’s not a bad place to hang out as you can see from the photos.

Is that worth giving up a little privacy? OH YEA!

Point is, I’m very curious about the different ways, now and 20 years from now, I can make my life as interesting as possible, as cheaply as possible. I think that is going to require some creative thinking outside the box about what we think we need. And perhaps letting go of old thinking about what is necessary for living an interesting, satisfying life.

Smart Financial Resources for Us Middle Aged Women

At the risk of beating a dead horse, I wanted to share a couple of items about, yes, women and financial security. I know, I KNOW I’m on this women and wealth kick. It’s because the more I learn, the more sobering it is. The very good news however, is it absolutely does not have to be that way. We have total power to do it differently. So, on I plunge…

First, a friend and I were chatting about some of the Money posts on the WomenBloom forums. My friend is in her mid 50s, single with two grown children, good job, divorced for about 15 years. She said she realized she hadn’t been as aggressive in her divorce as she should have been given that she still had two kids to raise and all. Her assumption was that, at 40, she had plenty of time to make up for her lagging income as a Mom and loss of husband’s income.

Wrong, she sees now. You don’t make it up. She and her hubbie were fairly amicable and she (here is Dr. Frankel’s assertion that most women equate money with relationship) didn’t want to make it hard on him. They are still amicable but she would do it differently today.

Consider these nuggets from WISER (Women’s Institute for a Secure Retirement):

• 3 out of 5 working women earn less than $30,000 a year
• 3 out of 4 working women earn less than $40,000 a year
• Half of all women work in traditionally female, relatively low paying jobs without pensions
• Women retirees have half the average pension benefits of men retirees
• Women earn .77 for every $1 earned by men – a lifetime loss of $300,000

Hmmm.

WISER is a wonderful, absolutely wonderful resource on subjects about protecting yourself during divorce, caregiving, and social security. There is also a very helpful document by the Heinz Family Philanthropies, What Women Need To Know About Retirement.

There is so much information available to help us change the stats above. Let’s get to it!

How Vulnerable Are We? The Feminine Mistake

I spoke this morning with Jenny Krengel, who is CEO of a company called Dream Jobs Inc. Jenny’s software platform helps large companies track and manage women employees who need to move in and out of the workforce, for child rearing and other reasons. They try to match them with part time, flex time or project based work so they don’t lose them altogether.

Given Jenny’s expertise in the area of women who drop out of the workforce, I had given her a call to get her thoughts on a new book by Leslie Bennett called The Feminine Mistake: Are We Giving Up Too Much? Apparently it has caused quite an uproar among some women, particularly women who are stay at home Moms.

However, I believe it has plenty of application to us mid-lifers as well. And, I feel strongly about this subject because of personal experience.

The Book:

Ms. Bennett's book presents her research about women who are economically dependent on their husbands, whether because they stay at home with the kids, don't have to work or don't choose to work. She is alarmed because that situation is so often treated as a mere lifestyle choice without addressing the serious economic ramifications for making that choice. Here is her synopsis:

My reporting revealed that the bad news is just as ominous as I'd feared; so many women are unaware of practical realities that range from crucial changes in the divorce laws to the difficulties of reentering the work force and the penalties they pay for taking a time-out.

She looked at women who had suffered economic hardship due to divorce, widowhood, spouse's illness or unemployment, etc. It wasn't a pretty picture.

Jenny’s Story:

She is a Mommy herself who stayed home with her daughter. But she eventually realized she needed some work to stay sane. Alas, she found it was next to impossible to find part time work that paid this high achieving enterprise software saleswoman what she was worth (one point made in the book).

She did some research and found that big companies were starting to realize what an expensive brain drain it was to have well performing women in whom they had invested heavily exit the company to have children or take care of parents. Often never to be seen again. She saw a business opportunity and acted on it.

The good news: the big companies are slowly coming around to the notion of part time, flex time and project based work to accommodate the needs of these women. Jenny has clearly hit a nerve because she is getting a great deal of visibility among some of the country’s largest companies. But it's slow.

Jenny says of The Feminine Mistake: “I see Leslie’s book as a resource-guide and a nudge to take stock and have insight; rather than a threat, judgment, or something to be offended by. No matter what role someone chooses to play, we all have our strengths and gifts; and the key is finding them and how to play them out in the best interest of not only yourself, but of your family."

She acknowledges it as a tough situation. She can relate to a woman wanting to be home with her children. No one wants to criticize a woman making that choice.

But I have to ask, what is ‘best’ for the kids?

My Story:

I was widowed at 36. I never dreamed such a thing would happen to me. I had worked some in my husband's business but didn't have a career. I was fairly fortunate to be left with some financial resources. I can't help though but think of the women who are married and not working, who may have very little financial cushion and who have the average American debt. What would happen to them if their spouse left, or became ill, or lost his job??

Then, there are the 6 or 7 women I know who are all in their 50s now, but who quit work early on to have kiddos, and who were Moms, community volunteers and the like. When the divorces came, they, and their children, were in a big bind.

Divorce outcomes seem to be inconsistent and not all men have their children’s best interests at heart. At least one friend had to declare bankruptcy. Two teetered on the brink of bankruptcy. They suffered and their children suffered. They haven't even come close to making up for the economic loss. And these are intelligent, well-educated women who were married to very well off men.

So, I worry for us mid-lifers who are short in the career area, or who leave their husbands in charge of the finances, or who risk being divorced or widowed later in life without work skills. And, I worry for our daughters who may have made the choice to step off the career path.

Not because of judgment on the choice itself (what is more important than raising children well I ask?). But because I know life is so uncertain, and no one is immune to bad things happening. No, I worry at our vulnerability.

Perhaps Jenny’s story proves things are changing so eventually we won't have to make either/or choices. But, I welcome the Feminine Mistake as a provocative wake up call to resist turning a blind eye to the economic realities of our choices.