Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Middle-aged Mate Magnets Making Mojo

I recently joined a group of ladies who were 40 and above with several of us, ahem, middle-aged. We were there to become 'Mate Magnets'. Hey, when I saw the email invite, I asked myself, what did I have to lose? My single status perhaps? Hope flickered briefly. I RSVPd.

Here's what amazes me. I know ALOT of single men and women above the age of 45. And it seems that 95% of us are all yearning to love and be loved. But few of us are in relationship. Whassup with that?

This group was no exception. We ranged from fairly newly singled and happily, anticipatively dipping a toe in the dating pool, to having spent the last year dating like crazy and having a blast. Then there was me, the Cynic.

I've been single now for about 14 years. I was married for a long time and widowed at 36. After surviving that trauma, no small feat, at 40, I began learning to date. No small feat. It was fun for a while. Then, I began looking for The One. After 4 or 5 years of that, thought I'd found Him, then realized I hadn't. Suffered a fairly broken heart over it. Then a year or two later, finally started dating again. I found somewhere between mending my heart and some casual dating, the whole thing had ceased to be fun.

It seems like excitement, followed by earnest discussion about how it's going, getting exclusive, finding out some startling things about each other, telling oneself that maybe those things don't matter, maybe some great sex if you're lucky, then realizing you (or he) doesn't want to take on some of the startling things, emotional wear and tear, more emotional wear and tear, then one or the other splits.


But, I admit, it did perk up my tired heart to see these hopeful women being willing to learn to flirt. To support each other in going to various singles mixers. Going to see Sex and the City. They still see the fun in it. It's great to see them bravely sallying forth.

Maybe their enthusiasm will rub off. If one believes the Law of Attraction, cynicism doesn't seem like the most promising of attractants. I hope more than enthusiasm rubs off. I'd like to recover my optimistic, 'I know he's out there somewhere' attitude of old.

Maybe this group is just what the doctor ordered.


Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Wow, that Blog title is a mouthful. Try saying it fast 5 times. :)

I thought I had stopped by here before, but your banner doesn't look like the way I thought I remembered it. Did you change it recently? Or is my middle-aged brain fitting and starting?

Allison said...

Indeed it is. It has its advantages however :)

You may have, I wouldn't go adjusting the hormone therapy just yet. I'm experimenting a bit with the header. This still isn't quite what I have in mind so I'll probably change again so not to worry! :)

Thanks for the visit/return! I think your blog is great!